This is a quick one, and not a personal experience of my own, but worth repeating here. At dinner with my family last week, over a delicious meal of mu shu pork and orange chicken, my mother suddenly seems to drift off and then shudders to herself. The rest of us all stop and look at her, and she says to us, "Do you want to hear a funny slash (yes, she verbalized the slash) creepy thing that happened to me today?"

Sure, why not? I'm only ingesting food in a mildly sketchy Chinese restaurant at the moment. Go right on ahead.

"Well, I'm in the office today (she's a third grade public school teacher) to use the restrooms...you know how small the toilets are in our building, I don't need a gaggle of eight year-olds helping me up off the floor...so I'm in the restroom, and I go into a stall, and suddenly the woman in the handicap stall next to me starts freaking out, 'Oh no! Oh crap! Shoot!' and so on and so forth. I'm concerned so I ask her if she's doing alright, if she needs any help, to which she replies, 'No, I'm fine, I just lost my-' At this I look down and there from the restroom floor staring up at me is her glass eye! The woman's eye had popped out while she was going to the bathroom!"

I choke on my chow mein at this point, unsure of whether I had heard correctly or I was just over dosing on MSG. Then my brother and I burst out laughing as my dad sits with his mouth hanging open. The two of us are on the verge of tears, but the comedy of it begins to wane as the realization that this woman's eye had fallen out on the restroom floor sets in. That's more than creepy, mom, that's muscle-convulsingly disgusting.

At the end of her story, my mother offers to help this woman, who quickly refuses any aid stammering out some sort of explanation that this sort of thing happens when it is dry out and her allergies are acting up.

WHAT?!? You mean you experience this ocular ejection on a regular basis?!? Sick, friggin' sick. I'm just imagining her handing out candy on a particularly arid Halloween, and instead of a Butterfinger some kid has an eye jettisoned into his bag, the whole scene descending into utter chaos as dozens of children scatter in the the streets screaming.

...Truly eye-popping (phew, that feels better...that pun has been sitting in my head for like a week now)